at around 12 midnight.. ive decided to remove my gauges for good. i got all the way to 1/2 inch, but i felt like i was doing it for the wrong reasons. my ears are about a 2 now? it shrank pretty fast. i hope it would shrink some more, they dont look too attractive. ive learned that i dont have to try hard or do anything to be noticed.. people will see you and like you better when you are your true self. you dont have to change for anyone or try to please the people around you. they will like you for who you are. so, i slept in my car yet again! my step dad hates me.. he would rather be uncomfortable and sleep on the couch in the living room juts to make sure i dont bring any girls in or juts to keep me out the house. im getting tired of it, but im trying to keep my cool. i realized that the more i show him it affects me the more he'll try and make it worse for me. everytime he does things to try and piss me off, i just laugh hella loud so that he could hear me. its amazing how a grown ass man loves to pick on someone that is less mature than them. heck i act more mature than his old ass. he is definitely one of those guys who doesnt have anything else better to do so he picks on someone that wont fight back. i know i owe him alot, but i also know hes taken alot away from me. perhaps maybe even more than what hes done for me.. either way, i wont do anything because i respect my mom and maybe just a little for him. this does not say i cant fight back, because i would and could. i just owe him things like keeping me here at home without having to pay for rent. im sure ya'll understand where im coming from.. no matter how much i could hate the bastard. i also thank him for the times he acted like a father, when i needed one.
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